A Long Journey

Many things have happened lately. Many, many, terrible, wonderful and inspiring (not in the way you’d think) things. Like usual, I will start at the beginning of the debacle. 

I was in that figurative “dark place” and for what reason I know not. I was just there marinating in my own cesspool of depression and negativity. I had forgotten all I stood for, my family, my friends, my brothers…

I tried to put things in the empty hole in my heart and in my soul. I turned back to drinking, leaving my house and job for days to drink and be sad. As you may imagine, I was fired, and after David and Texas Toast found me, I was a mess. My most current girlfriend and I had split and because of this I felt sexually empty (I’ve always had a deep seated lust problem) so I made yet another mistake and had “The Devil’s Threesome” Which I most honestly don’t regret. Let me tell you why I regret none of this.

I regret none of this because ever single thing mistake I made was a learning experience. They taught me about myself: My true fears, my weaknesses, my vices.

Through this somewhat devine self realization I stopped and said “what the f*ck am I doing.”

I realized I needed to get away from some of the people I had surrounded myself with (not David or Toast). I realized how weak I had become in trying to lead some pointless p*ssy “normal” life. 

So…

I am going to take some time off, use a little bit of one of my large cash stashes, and do a bit of traveling. Get the old me back I guess. Not run from my problems by trying to go back to the way things were. I’m not quit sure what I’m trying to say, where I’m going, or what I’m going to do, but I do know that I need to get away.

Not a vacation though, vacations are for pansies.

Quitting smoking, girls, drinking, and sh*tty people.

Alpha out. 

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