Mid Ohio Comic-Con

Yea. You heard me. I’ll be there, and the money I am taking with me will all be spent very promptly. If you live anywhere near Columbus, Ohio then you better be there. Boondock Saints panel. That’s all I gotta say. Laura can’t go though. This saddens me deeply, but it’s man time. What would be you’re favorite part of this years Mid Ohio Con? What Comic-Cons have you been to in the past? AND WHO’S GOING TO THE STAR WARS CON IN GERMANY NEXT SUMMER?!


Texas Toast Here

Hello to all of Alpha’s friends. I was told to address him as Alpha. Unfortunately he has been incarcerated, and he told me to post all of the details onto his blog because “they will think it is hilarious.” Personally I think it is pretty funny. All the years I have known this man, I’ve never seen him behind bars. It was quite amusing. Onto the details then. According to Alpha there is a new “bad*ss motherf*cker b*tch lookin nancy” Police Chief in town. The new Police Chief happened to be riding with one of the senior officers on duty when Alpha was pulled over. For speeding. 120 mph I was told. The senior officer, upon recognizing Alpha, reported to the new Chief that “this is that Government fella. He’s probably in rush, so we shouldn’t pull him over, sir.” I know this because me and David talked to the officer later at the bar, since we are all good friends. The new Chief said “No one is above the law, not even FED’s.” Now since Alpha wasn’t driving a government vehicle, and wasn’t technically on the clock, he was promptly pulled over by the two officers. You see, Alpha doesn’t actually work for the government, just with the government. So he has many friends, meaning that there are little to know restrictions on him. He’s got a special little I.D. for airport security, a special little passport, etc. But like Dwayne Johnson proved in Walking Tall, no one is above the law. Just to reiterate the Chief’s point. So Alpha was charged with the following: A hefty speeding ticket, reckless operation, and a multitude of weapons charges (Two knives above the legale length, one sword, handgun loaded in glove box, and “sawed off” pump-action .20 gauge shotgun). Since our friend is very close to every important person in the entire city, he likely won’t serve more jail time than the days until his court date, which, once it was found that he had been incarcerated, was promptly moved to Thursday. Via Alpha’s only request to the new Chief this has all been kept completely quiet from anyone except the involved parties (judge, prosecuting attorney, us, and both officers). The Chief obliged this one favor because “You seem like a pretty OK guy, but you’re still gonna serve your time.” So Alpha’s boss thinks he’s sick, and even the jury will not know who’s fate they are deciding. They will only be given the charges to decide. Alpha will likely be paying a very large fine, however, which subsequently, will become my responsibility somehow. 

Best Wishes, Texas Toast

P.S. My name really is Texas Toast, and I am really a mute.

Whateva, Girl

So me and one of my coworkers went to get breakfast this morning and have little bible study. It was nice. We read Jude, which is very short, but a great read. After it was about ten minutes until we needed to be at work, we still didn’t have our check. So I gave my friend the money for my check and a tip, and went outside to have a smoke. He said that when he finally got her attention, she said she thought she had given us the check 15 minutes ago. We were both late to work.


Back to the other story.

OW. That’s what I said after getting shot in the leg. OW. She turned to run, but I’m a little faster (cuz I’m so awesome) and I pin her in a full nelson, through the pain. As the dogs are starting to approach, she says, “There’ going to kill me and take me back there, please let me go…” I’m like…WTF. Lady you just shot me and…damn you’re good looking. “Call me.” I said as I released her.

So without saying a word to anyone, mostly out of confusion, I was transported to the hospital. Chillin in my little hospital bed, I noticed that different nurse than before had come  into my room. What? Oh no way. That’s awesome. It was the women from the woods and the chase. She pulled the cover over my head while pushing her index finger to her lips and whispering “shh.” So I was wheeled to the morgue. She proceeded to tell me that she was a rogue government agent who had been pulled out of high school to start her CIA training. She was special ops and had gone against orders on a mission and now she was being blamed for a massacre or something. For me: major turn on. So I double wrapped my stitches and put on a male nurse uniform and glasses that she had brought for me. I felt bad for whoever’s glasses she had taken, but it’s their fault for not have converting to contacts yet.

Long story short, I totally dug this chick, so I pulled some strings, had a professional hacker get ahold of the information needed to prove her innocence (I got to break into a government facility to connect to the server for him ^^) and so they (whoever was actually after her) agreed to believe she was dead and leave us alone. So we chillin now. Good times all round. She had daddy issues as a kid, etc. so everything is more interesting with her, and I like it because for me women have always been easy, but she’s different because she’s a challenge. Niot like she doesn’t like me chalenge though. It’s hard to explain. Anyhow, we are very close.

Love you all. But it’s back to class time.



I showed this to my class today. It is an extended class day today and tomorrow, so I always have a little extra time to fool around with the students. Especially the first period ones. They always need a little waking up. Anyways, heres the link




It is the History of Hydrofoils, compliments of Dark Roasted Blend.


All of the kids were very confused. I don’t think any of them had ever seen or even heard of a hydrofoil. What is wrong with kids these days?? It’s not really the fact that they didn’t know what it was as much as the fact that they had never heard of it, or even cared to know. 

“Don’t you wanna ride a boat that isn’t even really in the water?!”

“I guess that’s pretty cool.”

“NO! It’s pretty awesome!”


“Ohhhh….I think I get what you guys are trying to say. Pop quiz. Gotcha. Yea that’s right. Life isn’t fair.”

So I didn’t actually make them take pop quiz. I’m too cool of a teacher for that jazz. I mean, we listen to Silverstein in my class! We all ended up talking about hydrofoils for the majority of the class period. We got into some serious discussions, and one of the main areas of discussion was why there aren’t a bunch of them being used today instead of all of the regular boats. It was a good time. And then I made them do work for the rest of class. What do you think about hydrofoils? Why aren’t there more around? I know what I know, but I love other peoples opinions, and I may show yours too my class if you have some interesting points to share. Thanks for any input!

Onto other subjects. At home life. Damn. Well me and Laura met in a peculiar way. I’m just gonna brush the surface of it right now though. I was called in to assist in a manhunt, and the capturing of a murderer. Bam. Love it. This took up a large majority of summer. Apparently this was tied into some type of mass murder, although this person didn’t commit that, they were just a part of it somehow. Whateva. All of a sudden, we have a hot trail. So I’m fast roping down from this Black Hawk and I hit the ground and look over at this squad advancing on a body. 

“Aww damn, you already got’em without me?”

No sir, he got caught in the crossfire when we were trying to subdue the subject.”

Before that boy could finish his sentence I was already sprinting towards the barking dogs. OH WHOOPS. We are in the forests of the North Eastern United States. I pass the dog team because I’ve already picked up on the subject. Sixth sense like a boss. I’m going so fast that I don’t even notice the trail I’m following is a fake. I turn to see a young lady about three feet away from me.

“Oh shit, are you ok? You see some crazy looking mofo come through this way?”

And as I’m saying that, she pulls me sidearm out of it’s holster.

I instinctively grab it and released the magazine, but she has already pulled the trigger. One jacket hollow point pierces my thigh. 


I will type part two out later this week. Class time 🙂

Enjoy the week my friends.



Fur Elise

Yea, so that’s what I’m listening to right now. About to go out for a smoke because I’m pretty depressed right now. Ludwig van Beethoven radio isn’t helping either. Clearly…Any how, I figured I’d catch you up a little bit. YOU,VE MISSED SO MUCH. So any one who you are wondering about that I don’t mention is probably dead. Texas Toast, David, me and Laura are all living together now in a nice house. Really havent had any missions or anything going on for a while. There is just a lot of craziness that has been going on. Not to mention my night terrors every night. Well anyways, that nicotine is calling my name. Anything else anyone wants to know, please feel free to send me a message or an email (alpha9545@gmail.com).

Oh, the truth comes out

Some of you may have wondered why over the “summer” I didn’t really post anything. This is because…well…I’m a teacher. Over the summer is when I am busy with my real job. You know the one. But during the school year, when there isn’t much going on (unless some random important shit comes up) I’m sitting at my desk, yadda yadda. I mean there is a lot of work to be done, but for the most part I’m right here with my computer, whereas when I’m traveling, I don’t have a lot of time to be sitting around typing. Anyway. Hopefully I will be able to start posting things more often again. Love you all
~ Alpha