So as I’ve said before I have been having some strange disturbing dreams. As you may be able to guess I normally have horrible dreams, but these in particular are especially disturbing. I know I won’t be able to sleep tonight due to the images that play out in my head, so instead I will write to my dear readers whose company I enjoy.
Since Kat has been around I have been thinking a lot about my daughter. How she died. Why she died. A lot of things. A great song to listen to (and one that causes my emotions to well up every time I listen to it) is “Taste of Regret” by In Fear and Faith. It just came on my ipod as I was writing this. Almost the perfect song I think.
Being through the things I have and all you think I would be some kind of stone cold anti-social type. That is not the case. Music always brings emotions to me and I love people. Even after what happened I still make many close friends.
I don’t just have dreams about my family and friends though. I have these horrible (yet cliched) dreams where my hands are covered in warm fresh blood and I just can’t get it off. I think it is one of those dreams people have who have ever had someone else’s blood on their hands. I hope none of you ever have to experience it. It’s just so real and I can’t wash it off. Then there are rose peddles falling all around me. I’m dressed in a white robe and I’m walking forward into this thick white liquid. I’m getting deeper and everything around me is just white. It’s so real, I can feel the cool thick liquid and when it reaches my eyes I don’t close them but I just wake. I have this one frequently. It’s always the way a dream ends. I’m washing off blood that won’t wash off and then bam, I’m in the rose peddle white mystery place.
The other frequent one is the creepy demonic one. My eyes are closed and I am laying on the concrete floor trying to yell and move but nothing happens and I am paralyzed. All of a sudden my eyes open and Claire (my first fiance) is standing over me, looking down at me just starring. And then she starts speaking in this insanely deep demonic voice saying things I can’t understand, but in a questioning tone as if she is asking me something. Then she grabs me by my shirt or whatever I’m wearing and shakes me yelling in the same tone violently. And then I notice around me everyone else I loved, just standing and starring. Terra, Kyle, Victor. Then I can make out her words. But just barely. And everyone else has started to talk. The are all saying different things but I make out some of the words: “save us” “where were you” “Alex”
After a little bit of them talking they stop and it is completely silent. Then all of a sudden, in a flash, they are on top of me, tearing and eating my flesh. Then I usually spring awake in a cold sweat.
These two dreams/nightmares, I have regularly. Don’t worry I have good dreams too. But mostly bad ones. The lesson to be learned? Don’t be a special ops puppet of the military or a contractor for a living. Feel free to share any dream experiences you have, I love hearing about other peoples dreams.